I Think My Driver is Ruining My Life
Yes I have a driver. Save the judgement. It’s so unoriginal.
But if you like, you may read on an be enlightened.
If I got a dollar for every time someone asked me “Do you have a driver,” I think I’d be wealthy enough to be far away from this doomed Lagoon. Why does my driver shape so much of people’s perception of me? I’m not writing this to explain myself to others. I’m writing this to understand how and why people take this to be so core to my identity. It’s a simple exchange that has been blown up into a thing that has eaten me up.
The Prejudice from My Girlfriends
Some of the most shocking comments come from my successful girlfriends. I’ve gotten comments like, “but you’re an adult.” Yes, an adult can make decisions on how to spend her money n’est-ce pas?
Or my personal favorite comment is “Woah, you have a driver?” Loaded in that statement is actually “woah, rich b**ch or “someone’s spoiled” and maybe even “Gosh I wish I had a driver too”.
The Prejudice from Suitors
I’ve struggled to determine if the comments suitors make are because of the classic fear “will I be able to afford this woman” or because of some other weird insecurity. The only thing i’ve figured out is how to respond. Thank you, next.
I’ve gotten comments like “ Woah! Your car is bigger than mine.” I’m sorry what? Why would a grown man say something like that?
I remember being on a date and handsome man went into full interview mode. “What kind of car do you drive? Did you pay for it yourself? Do you fuel your car?”
Was I dating a debt Collector? A taxman maybe?
Let me just list some of the trade-offs particular to this city
Even “successful” young people don’t have a whole lot of money to play with. But I’d like to put some things in perspective, take 250K equivalent of 700 USD which I use to pay my driver for 5 months. Here are some other uses..
250K in Buzz Bar celebrating your birthday OR 5 months of paying a driver to save me from a 4-hour commute every day.
250K on a relaxing vacation to Ghana OR 5 months of paying a driver to save me from a 4-hour commute every day.
250K on Dior shoes at Polo OR 5 months of paying a driver to save me from a 4-hour commute every day.
There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these choices. What I CANNOT understand is why we condemn people so intensely for the choices they make with their money.
In other words, “How the shirt wey I wear for my body take be your concern”
If we all calm down, we can easily become less judgemental about the whole thing.
Here are some questions that might help with perspective
- Why does this evoke such a visceral reaction?
- In what way does this make me uncomfortable?
- Is there any possibility, I am being slightly obnoxious here?
- What about all the weird things I spend my money on that I would like to not be judged on?
If you can task yourself with these questions, fantastic
But if all else fails, just face front.
